Married 38, been in a relationship with a realtionship with my now wife of 2 years for 8 years previous. The biggest thing that destroyed our relationship was his inability to accept accountability for his actions. I was able to talk her into seeking treatment, our GP has her on meds to help control the mood swings and depression. Though is has been medicated, he still has episodes and my sister is currently planning on leaving him. I have had five years of hell. Please tell me I can be normal and not some heartless monster. And after our divorce, I eventually found out that I was one of many that he was involved with at the same time before our marriage, I was so hurt. How can you talk about leaving a person who is havinbg extramerital affairs due to a psychological disorder? So where did things end up? He was offered another position in a state 3000 miles away from my home. Now he is pathalogically deceptive and lying as a way of life. Hi everyone, I haven’t read through all the posts so I hope I’m not repeating anything. this was our only income due to the fact that i’ve had fibromyalgia for 16 years. I’m the only one who knows this … no friends, prob not even his psychiatrist knows this. I love her with all of my heart but I have 3 kids to think about. I hope the best for you and your family. Every conversation ends up to how do you feel today and conversations about being bipolar and I’m afraid it’s going to be like that every day if I stay with him, or even worse if we get married. When I suspected him of cheating, he made me feel as though bipolar prompted delusional ways of thinking. It was exhausting but I wanted to get her help first so I stayed and gave her the only option and that was join therapy with marriage and with her phychatrist. (now 53) Even now some days/weeks/months are difficult. A courageous man that has more love and grace in his heart choosing forgiveness and to support and love her instead of walking away. Only when they experience extreme consequences from their drinking do they change, if ever. Not once did he call or text me on his way there. I just read every one each of the post here. One day everything was fine, the next she was telling me she wanted to leave. During the course of our 8 year relationship, he had at least one affair that I know of, signed up on a singles website, had women from foreign countries sending him pictures, etc. Two weeks ago, one of his darker episodes resulted in me finding him overdosed in the bathroom. She is now having another affair, and again I am just the kids’ dad. He is from Ireland, is very charming, and is very believable. My hurt is real, My pain is real, Knowing he is BP does not make me feel better. We went to see our priest, who recommended us to a marriage councelor/psychologist. She says that he is a god named cupid and she is his goddess named psyche. His mother was bipolar too and his rude children from previous marriage are all mentally ill too. My wife’s constant crushes and falling in love with other men has driven me into depression. I really wish I was. Total hate campaigns. At first I thought cool there is a rhyme to the reason. ENOUGH. My husband has chose to hurt me and my kids over and over and over again. It’s very common for BPs to self medicate – whether with alcohol, pills, weed, etc. and appears quite happy and normal while behaving this way. I think my fiance is bipolar.His mood swings are draining me,the emotional and mental abuse is shocking and the disrespect is heart wrenching. I’m not talking about throwing it up in the person’s face often, but there are triggers that will bring the pain up for quite some time, and if that is not talked about, and owned by the person that did it, it’s probably the beginning of the end. So, it was the final straw for me; I’ve broken the engagement, canceled the wedding, and found an apartment (which is always an uncomfortable feeling when you’ve lived in a house for so long). We dated for about a year and I dealt with her BPD ups and downs fairly easily, even though there was one very bad low where she was near-suicidal, and she often talked about it. six months later and the fibro is horrific not to mention the mental torment of knowing that he had an affair and also spend half of his earnings that he made during the year while away. ... Our story goes like this we have been together for 10yrs. He has told me that he cannot control the sex obsession. When he is manic, he is insulting, arrogant, narcissistic and he screws everything in sight. I see a counselor now and i’m strong and getting a divorce, 17 years and two marriages to him is enough. I NEED SOME HELP!!! ( Log Out /  Nothing will change. I am a widow and have 3 other children all with some form of dissability I feel so isolated and alone this desease is the worst you could ever have to deal with in my opinion I wish you all the best! who is suposly bypolar . Everyone here seems to have the same feelings and I bet everyone has received the same advise, be strong, it’s not your fault and things will get better. I found out he was lying and instead he checked into a hotel all weekend with his mistress. First, “moderate the behaviors” can mean all sorts of things from the person with bipolar willingly taking her medications and putting an honest effort into maintaining mood stability to forced commitment. His true colors will eventually come out and I hope he reaches out for help when it does. Now you have my history. He’s kind of a weak person that goes with the flow. If I was convinced earliar I would have seeked help for my hubby. I started drinking fairly regularly and looking for excuses to go out with my friends. I read your piece that follows after this one – you are an incredible writer. I pray for him each and every day. especially when you have such a loving and faithful husband that many women would die for. Find a good support group. In this section we will discuss infidelity causes, solutions, and some unfortunate statistics. It was the affects of the years of drugs and alcohol. he was on his best behavior with all friends, family and this chic and i just don’t get how he could be the absolute opposite to me and my sons. so…let me get this straight..you only cheat on those who deserve to be cheated? People with BP WILL do things that affect their families. So that can be a personality disorder, addiction, PTSD, etc. ( Log Out /  I always told her and myself I would not stand for that but it has been hard to leave specifically because she is ill and at times I feel she is better off with me watching over than me without her. My oh my…..I thought I was alone. For every two months of repair, peace, and hope there is 3 months of hell. Video: Living Day-to-Day With Bipolar. Thank you so much! The possible bipolar component is certainly an interesting idea and I’m not sure how much of my history or previous behaviors are the result of it, but this is certainly the only situation where I’ve been involved with a married man. I compare it to an itch I need to scratch….CONSTANTLY! OMG your not Billy ARE YOU??? Heres my point(finally) I decided to do what I did, Bipolar did not make me do it. I realised that I should have trusted my gut feeling, as I knew something was up. I’m filing for divorce and am so glad that she is out d ky life for good. Mental illness isn’t your get out of jail free card. Please seek help befor he destroys yr marriage. He firmly believes that I am the bad guy here. I am 39 and ive had 22,25,27 yr olds….the young ones were the ones i wanted, they made me feel young, a whole other generation i was not a part of but suddenly i was (or i thought so) it made me feel alive again, made me feel sexy. She came home one day and said she no longer loved me and then got in her car and left for 3 days (before cell phones existed). He told me he loved me with the first month of dating. Can someone shed some light to me please. You mention two choices: moderate the behaviors and/or moderate the expectations. A disease of the brain that is very much handled well if treated properly. I can not afford to pay the bills here on my own and he has left the lives of me and my children in complete limbo. You have to see GOD or whatever you believe in and take control of your life. I’d been burned before in a previous relationship, never to the extent that this went, but I knew better to at least keep my eyes open. Some days she was as normal as me, on a high. Yes the sex is great yes she was beautiful but her not raising her daughter right and constantly walking on egg shells is not worth it basically it’s better I found this out a year in rather like others 3456 12 years in finding out. I’m constantly craving more and more. We have a total of three kids and now with this episode, she says she hates my guts. WHAT’S the fucking big deal?! BP is so horrible … I don’t even know what he has to deal with day to day … but from what I’ve read … it’s a prison sentence. Sort by: Hot. He’s fetish with pregnant women also scares me and I know he will always have it. She promised not to do it anymore. You have no idea the guilt and shame that haunt us for our past, present and probably future behaviors (even with meds, theraphy, and exercise) NO IDEA. I have to keep a happy face for our year old and also be the buffer and explain away his behavior. But it could have been avoided. I had no idea about the disorder, she has now had over 6 episodes because she does not take her meds correctly. I have had affairs and always wondered why I do it. Then he asked her to leave town with him. Lucky for me I was clean, Drug abuse, FIts of rage and now an attempted suicide because I found out his secrets. Living with a mental health condition can have major setbacks, especially in relationships. No one wants to help someone when their symptoms aren’t coughing and sneezing but lying and cheating. The person she is in love with is a famous actor and they speak telepathically and he sends her secret messages through social media. OHHHH NOOOOOOO!!!!! BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE DON’T NEED HELP AND SUPPORT! (He did not reveal this to me until we were far too involved in a relationship; by then, I was in too deep.). Always says this time he won’t do it again but how do you really trust after being hurt? 1.2K Stories. 1300 22 4636 He spent 10 days in and got out last week. He was calling her constantly, texting her all the time, and I noticed her texting a lot and confronted her (remember, she has only one friend, whom she hardly ever even talks to) and she denied it was anyone in particular and that it was just “a friend.” The fact that she wouldn’t be straightforward with me tipped me off. We have worked for three months trying to get passed this, but he was the one who finally told me he could not have a relationship … he dumped me. Just another heartbroken and gutted loving mom, Bipolar Disorder: Boundaries and Consequences | Bipolar Beat, Changes That Improve Mental and Physical Health, From Withdrawal to Awakening: A Continuing Journey, Living with a Roommate with Bipolar Disorder, Me vs. “Normal”: Living with Bipolar as a Teenager, Sherry’s Story – Bipolar Husband and Family, Take Action to Change Your Partner’s Reaction, Whitney: Father of Her Children Has Bipolar, Establish a regular sleep schedule. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. About a year ago this went all wrong, both of us had been under an extended period of stress, my mother was diagnosed terminal, he was being bullied at work and we had failed fertility treatment. I cant do this anymore. This blog however really makes me a little more forgiving of myself because at least I know that I do love my husband and I am not a real monster, I just have a monster in my head. I love her but I would never ever accept her cheating , We had a wedding date for 2 months from now, not happening. He called me 4 days later and said the marriage is really over, and that he will start to pack up all my stuff, and when i come home after 10 days my boxes are ready to go. When I found out it had been going on for almost a year. She has agreed recently to take antabuse on a daily basis, and it’s fine during the week but last week Thursday she stopped because of a party we were going to on a weekend, and we both wanted to drink. However, ground all your actions in love and start with the assumption that this is a medical issue. A psychologist told me there is hope as he have patients happily married for years after cheating on their spouses……and when they stay on treatment the cheating issue could dissappear. you just have to stand up and admit the problem and work your butt off…the end is freedom. We had 2 dealths, 1 birth all within 6 months with very close relatives. I honestly can say that up until the end of college I had no discernible signs of a mental illness. Been thru the ringer with my bipolar 1 wife. I’d cuddle her and hold her when people were around, but she’d clam up. I think she played a major part in my healing. My brother inlaw is BP and has been medicated for 7 years. I didn’t know what each day would be like waking up. My partner was once the best. We got there, for 5 months we seemed happy, starting wearing our wedding rings again, family took him back again, went on a lovely holiday together, sex life was back again. It’s like a a different person takes his place, and the cycle begins: he does horribly unsafe and hurtful things, comes out of it, begs forgiveness, gets better, eventually uses drugs because of guilt, gets better agian, then does horrible impulsive behavior all over again and off we go. I have no idea how to express my gratitude. But it was through this affair and seeing counselors and physiatrists that we learned she is defiantly bi-polar. I am with a man I have known since High school. Now i have all the proof from the guy as she was lying to him also. I have kicked him out a thousand and one times it seems only to have him pull on my heartstrings again. This lasted for 10 years of my 27 years of marruage with him . I’m sure there are many more compliments coming your way – just keep doing what you’re doing! I cant believe the most loving husband i thought i had is capable of doing this. I have allways tried to get her help fast, allthough she does not think she is ill, that is a normal pattern for BPD. I hated that I have no real remorse as horrible as that sounds. He is now crazy with his young mistress….he just threw away everything we had! Of course I found out she was still seeing him and enough was enough. Now she wants to live in the desert southwest from Jan-May to get more sunlight, but my career is here in New England. Needless to say he called the cops and i ended up in the Psych ward for 2 weeks. After a year he proposed to me and I found out the was going drinking every night after I went home and he was embarrassing me in public and told me he is bipolar and not taking any medication for 5 years. She eventually called me the next morning from his phone. God will settle with him at a much greater price than I could ever extract. I apologize for the second comment, but I wanted to respond to Kim’s post. Wonder what my chances of staying married are? She was thinking clearly and it hit her: This psychologist is a predator. I had one final exam left before spring break. Since he appeard to be better, I agreed to move here with him. It would have cleared up so many questions for me and helped me make the decision to break off the marriage. one of the symptoms of BP which is Hypersexuality. She can’t sit and talk to me or anyone else about what is going on with out flying off the handle, storming out and not telling where she is or where she was all night. One such opinion pioneered by Louis J. Cozolino, PhD, a professor of psychology at Pepperdine University in southern California, and leading bipolar disorder guru, says that it’s akin to sexual addiction. There was obviously alcohol involved and it’s been very difficult for me to try and convince her not to drink, especially because I like beer. I dont know how to heal my husbands heart, for i broke it so many times, i have no idea why he stayed with me, but now he understands why, and i now know i will never, ever go back to that stage again. Please if u love him then help him. He always acts resentful, and doesn’t appreciate us whatsoever. He felt bad for me, but told me that she was addicted to the self-medication, that being the fantasy life with “Dom.” She promised no more contact. She needs help. He contracted a STD & exposed me to it. The families suffer and they get a free pass. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and other substances (including over-the-counter medications and energy drinks) that stimulate the brain. I would encourage her to see her doctor. What’s worse is there wasn’t a definitive point as to when and how the hypomania started. How do you handle the day in and day out struggles with out going crazy? But the truth is, I love my little girl and I still love my wife. He is never here, but we have been dealing with his filthy room. She tells me she’ll never cheat on me and she did not do so that night, and that I’m just overreacting and that I should not be childish…. 1. She would go out every night with this Asian guy she said he was her best friend, and I became the kids’ dad. Refine by tag: bipolar depression mentalhealth anxiety love mentalillness mentaldisorder disorder suicide anxietydisorder sad poetry schizophrenia romance mental selfharm abuse depressed anorexia sadness. But he doesnt want me,he is rude and totally no remorse. My wife had an affair with some bum alcoholic jobless bast***. I got mad later on when I saw them again, him holding her as if they were dating…I was mad and told her it’s time to go, to which she refused and I left alone. However, two years ago I lost a lot of weight and started running with a faster crowd. We have two young children and I do deeply care for her and want it to work but hearing things like bi-polar’s have no self control, selfish, and incapable of true love or empathy is just scary to me. between 16 years of pain from fibro, six years of torment with my son’s bp and now this, i feel ready for a psyche ward. Meeting a new person and having that butterfly sensation at a maximum level and even taking it to sexting with several people at a time and then just like that within a couple of weeks I would move on. When I found out and fully educated myself on Bipolar Depression I was in awe on how on point all the symptoms described me, or who I thought was the normal me. Sends her secret messages through social media for me avoid this terrible desease he sends her secret through. Had happened it plainly messages through social media he met a chic 15 years told me he. 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